“Match Game” 2/13/19

Stars:
Top: Jason A., Niecy & Michael Che
Bottom: Constance, Judah & Erika C.

G1:
Jason Patton (Boynton Beach firefighter/paramedic)
Joy Dowden (lives on cattle farm in Natchitoches, LA)

R1:
Jason (A): Lonely Lorna’s so lonely she DOESN’T ask Siri for directions, she asks Siri for a ___________.
G: Sex toy
Jason: KISS
Niecy: DATE
Michael: LOAN
Constance: FRIEND
Judah: HUG
Erika: CUDDLE
Joy: Paul McCartney revealed that one of The Beatles’ biggest songs was actually about his privates; now you’ll NEVER hear _________________ the same way again.
G: “Yellow Submarine”
Jason & Michael: “LET IT BE”
Niecy: “MAXWELL SILVER HAMMER”
Constance: “I WANNA HOLD YOUR BLANK (HAND?)”
Judah: “HEY JUDE”
Erika: “MAXWELL’S SILVER HAMMER”

R2:
Joy (B): There’s a new “dancing with the stars”-themed restaurant where judges review every dish as it comes to the table. Last night they said the Cha-Cha Chili was a real showstopper & the Paso Doble Pepper Poppers were ______________.
G: Fabulous
Jason: TERRIBLE
Niecy: A MISSTEP
Michael: POOP STOPPER
Constance & Erika: SPICY
Judah: HOT
Jason: Queen Guinevere said “I couldn’t wait to get Sir Lancelot in bed. I was so impatient I took off his suit of armor using a _____________”.
G: Sword
Top row: CAN OPENER
Bottom row: W

SM:

AM: ____________ SPIRIT
Constance: TEAM
Judah: SCHOOL
Erika: TEEN
G: TEAM ($5K: HOLY/$3K: SCHOOL/$2K: FREE)

HtH: BATH_____
Jason: TIME
Jason: TUB

G2:
Brandi Golstein (preschool teacher)
Rak Ieng (Centreville, VA)

R1:
Brandi (B): Rex was the biggest toughest kid in the whole P.E. class. But he got his 1st F last wk.- it turns out you need longer arms to _____________.
G: Play tag
Jason & Judah: DUNK
Niecy & Constance: DRIBBLE
Michael: DO PULL-UPS
Erika: PLAY BASKETBALL
Rak: Wendy said “My husband always tries to steal the spotlight. Last night he proudly announced that he’s already scheduled a(n) ____________ for himself”.
G: Baby shower
Jason: AMNIO
Niecy: ULTRASOUND
Michael & Constance: C-SECTION
Judah: BOWEL MOVEMENT
Erika: BABY SHOWER

R2:
Rak (A): Congresswoman Carol said “Working in Washington is a lot like working on a farm. In both jobs you spend all day surrounded by _____________”.
G: CRAP
Jason: PITS
Niecy: ANIMALS
Michael: JACKASSES
Constance: COCKS
Judah: HORSE****
Brandi: Rumor has it Batman & Robin are seeing a couples counselor. Robin’s biggest complaint is that Batman NEVER lets him _______________.
G: DRIVE THE BATMOBILE
Jason: DRIVE THE BATMOBILE
Niecy: DRIVE HIS BATMOBILE
Michael: DRIVE (WINK-WINK)
Constance & Judah: DRIVE
Erika: WEAR THE PANTS

SM:

AM: WET ______
Jason: PAINT
Niecy: BLANKET
Erika: DREAM
G: DREAM ($5K: WILLY/$3K: SUIT/$2K: BLANKET)

HtH: FLASH _______
Brandi: DANCE
Niecy: W

“Match Game” 1/30/19

Stars:
Top: Chris Parnell, Whitney Cummings & Kevin Smith
Bottom: Jane, Ron Funches & Caitlyn Jenner

G1:
Nicole “Nikki” Patterson (law enforcement in BKN)
Jake Ziwich (skee-ball player in BKN)

R1:
Nikki (B): I hear Tom Cruise likes to make up new sex positions based on the names of his movies. All the ladies love “The Firm” but his favorite’s called ____________________.
G: “TOP GUN”
Chris: “COCK/TAIL”
Whitney: “THE MISSIONARY IMPOSSIBLE”
Kevin: “THE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE”
Bottom row: “TOP GUN”
Jake: For my kid’s birthday party I rented the Ronda Rousey Bouncey Housey. It was all fun & games until i tried to join in & Ronda gave me a _________
G: BLACK EYE
Chris & Jane: ROUNDHOUSE
Whitney, Ron & Caitlyn: ARMBAR
Kevin: UFC’ed

R2:
Nikki (A): George Jetson’s listing his sky-high apartment on airbnb. For an extra fee you also get the use of ________________.
G: ROSIE THE ROBOT
Chris: ROSIE THE ROBOT MAID
Whitney: URANUS
Kevin: ROSIE THE ROBOT
Jake: When your stoner cousin Dave says it’s 4:20 that means it’s time to smoke weed. When your grandma says it’s 4:20 that means it’s time to ______________
G: EAT DINNER
Chris: IT’S TIME FOR BED
Whitney: EAT DINNER
Kevin: TAKE A NAP
Jane: EAT DINNER (EARLY BIRD SPECIAL)
Ron: BAKE COOKIES
Caitlyn: HAVE A DRINK

SM:

AM: _______ TEN
Jane: HANG
Ron: PERFECT
Caitlyn: TOP
G: TOP- $5K ($3K: HANG/$2K: BIG)

HtH: DOWN TO _____
Nikki: EARTH

G2:
Julia Boyle (cooks meatballs in Hollywood, FL)
Michael Ergas (personal training business owner & former Mr. USA in L.A.)

R1:
Julia (B): Jane said “Last night I went out with a real turkey. Halfway through dinner he asked if I wanted to touch his _________”.
G: NECK SKIN
Chris, Whitney & Jane: WADDLE
Kevin: PECKER
Ron: GIBLETS
Caitlyn: LEG
Mike: Did you hear a mad scientist crossed broccoli spears w/ Britney Spears? And to kick off her show she sings “______ me baby one more time”.
G: STEAM
Chris: ROAST
Whitney, Kevin, Ron & Caitlyn: EAT
Jane: BITE

R2:
Julia (B): Dumb Derrick’s so dumb he thinks Faith Hill is a place where religious young people go to ________
G: MAKE OUT
Kevin & Caitlyn: PRAY
Ron: MAKEOUT
Mike: The Pillsbury Doughboy wanted to look younger so he’s getting doughtox injections. Sure, his face looks smoother but he HASN’T found anything that can help him hide his ______.
G: BELLY
Chris & Whitney: ROLLS
Kevin: WATTLE
Jane & Ron: BUNS
Caitlyn: BELLY

SM:

AM: CLASS ______
Jane: ACT
Kevin: DISMISSED
Chris: CLOWN
G: ACT- $2K ($5K: CLOWN/$3K: RING)

HtH: IT’S RAINING ____________
Julia: MEN
Kevin: W

“Match Game” 1/23/19

Stars:
Top: Adam C., Morena Baccarin & Johnny Weir
Bottom: Cheryl, Rick F. & Pam Anderson

G1:
Heidi Vanderlee (cello player in band from BKN)
Abbey Gbadamosi (nurse in Hawthorne, NJ)

R1:
Heidi (B): Dumb Dora’s so dumb she thinks gene therapy is when her favorite pair of Levi’s asks a therapist “Am I too ___________?”.
G: BLUE
Adam: BLUE (SAD)
Morena, Cheryl & Rick: FAT
Johnny: HEFTY
Pam: BLUE
Abbey: You’ve heard of a B&B, a bed & breakfast, but Discount Debbie runs a C&C which is just a cushion & a ________.
G: CRACKER
Adam: COUCH
Morena: CUDDLE
Johnny: PUSHIN’!
Cheryl & Rick: CRUMB
Pam: COFFEE

R2:
Heidi (B): There’s a new strip club where the performers are ALL male politicians- it’s called Hanging Chads. Last wk. a scandal rocked the club when dancers were accused of stuffing their __________.
G: G-STRINGS
Morena: POCKETS (PANTS)
Johnny: BOXES
Cheryl: BALLOTS
Rick: BOXERS
Abbey: We really need to clean out the “Match Game” kitchen- I just found an old box of Wheaties w/ _______________’s picture on it.
G: RICK FOX- ONLY MATCHED MORENA (A: BRUCE JENNER)

SM:

AM: STAR _________
Pam: “WARS”
Adam: POWER
Cheryl: STRUCK
G: “WARS”- $5K ($3K: STRUCK/$2K: LIGHT)

HtH: “I LOVE _____”
Heidi: YOU
Pam: W

G2 (the theme was slowly played when these players were shown for the 1st time):
Robbie Eicher (history buff obsessed w/ Cher so much he named his dog after her)
Kelly Lysinger (flight attendant in ATL who had Alec on a flight about 17yrs ago)

R1:
Robbie (B): Big news in artificial intelligence- scientists are on the verge of making a fully-robotic David Hasselhoff. They say the final hurdle’s programming the robot to ___________________.
G: ACT
Adam: ACT
Morena: SPEAK (LIKE INTELLIGENTLY)
Johnny: SING
Cheryl: THINK
Rick: SWIM
Pam: GIVE MOUTH TO MOUTH
Kelly: The Count from “SESAME STREET” is now on tinder. But his dating days may be numbered- he mortified his last date by counting out loud the number of ___________ she had.
G: MOLES
Adam: CHINS
Morena: YEARS
Johnny: WRINKLES
Cheryl: SWIPES
Rick & Pam: ORGASMS

R2:
Robbie (A): Joyful Jack’s so joyful nothing gets him down- after he got audited he sent _____________ to the IRS.
G: A THANK-YOU NOTE
Morena: LOVE NOTES
Johnny, Cheryl & Pam: FLOWERS
Rick: COOKIES
Kelly: Brad said “My girlfriend is a wildcat in bed”. Peter said “Mine is more like a unicorn- she’s totally ________________”.
G: SPACEY (Adam, Johnny, Cheryl & Pam: HORNY/Morena: A BUCKER/Rick: ONE OF A KIND)

SM:

AM: ________ PRESSURE
Adam: UNDER
Johnny: BLOOD
Cheryl: PEER
G: BLOOD- $2K ($5K: UNDER/$3K: PEER)

HtH: PILLOW_____
Robbie: CASE (Adam: FIGHT)

“Match Game” 1/16/19

Stars:
Top: Joel McHale, Jane & Finesse Mitchell
Bottom: Caroline, Jason Biggs & La Toya Jackson

G1:
Heather Browand (wedding officiant in Staten Island)
Jon(athan) Tucci (med student in Sun Valley whose mom lost as a contestant on this GS in ’81)

R1:
Heather (A): Jurassic Park has a new exhibit filled w/ ferocious pop stars. The other day Taylor Swift was devoured by the diva at the top of the food chain- _______________.
G: Beyoncé- SWEPT TOP ROW (Caroline: Katy Perry/Jason: Nicki Minaj/La Toya: Patti LaBelle)
Jon: On the next ep. of “Queer Eye” the gang tries to give a makeover to a NASCAR fan but it turns out it’s really hard to find a belt that goes well w/ a _______________.
G: CONFEDERATE FLAG
Joel & Jane: BEER BELLY
Finesse: BIG STOMACH
Caroline: TOOTHLESS SMILE
Jason: BEER GUT
La Toya: HUGE PANTS

R2:
Heather (A): Dumb Dora’s so dumb she thinks having a cosmopolitan lifestyle means stocking up on plenty of ____________.
G: BOOZE
Caroline: DRINKS
Jason: MAGAZINES
La Toya: BOOZE
Jon: Siegfried & Roy got lost in the woods but not to worry- they found their way home just like Hansel & Gretel. Instead of leaving a trail of breadcrumbs they left a trail of __________.
G: TIGER BLOOD
Joel: TIGER KIBBLE
Jane: GLITTER SPARKLING SEQUINS
Finesse: CONDOMS
Caroline: SEQUINS
Jason: TIGER’S BLOOD

SM:

AM: DROP THE ________
Joel: MIC
Finesse: BALL
Caroline: BEAT
G: MIC- $3K ($5K: BALL/$2K: BOMB)

HtH (yeah she stayed w/ Joel): ____TUBE
G: YOU

G2:
Rebecca Walden (ATL woman who specializes & customizes wigs)
Marcus Mosely (IT specialist in Moorestown, NJ)

R1:
Rebecca (A): Every Spring a huge event takes colleges by storm- it’s called March Sadness. That’s where sorority girls get empowered to put on their PJs, have a good cry & _________ all night.
G: EAT
Top row & Jason: DRINK
Caroline: EAT
La Toya: HAVE SEX
Marcus: 50 Cent’s so broke he’s NO LONGER singing “In Da Club”- he’s singing “In Da _________”.
G: POORHOUSE
Joel: DE CHECK CASHING STORE
Jane: DEBT/POOR HOUSE
Finesse: POORHOUSE
Caroline: GHETTO
Jason: RED
La Toya: PUB

R2:
Marcus (B): Joel McHale said “My wife wanted to spice things up. So she invented a new game called Whack-a-Joel. Basically I hide under the covers & she smacks my _________ with a rubber mallet.”
G: A**
Joel: (censored)
Caroline: FIRM YET TOTALLY UNSEXY REAR END
Jason: BALLS
La Toya: BUTT
Rebecca: After the success of “Teen Mom” MTV’s launching “Senior Mom” about women who have babies in their 80s. Turns out the elderly moms & their babies have a lot in common- they BOTH enjoy ______________.
G: WEARING DIAPERS
Joel: POOPING PANTS
Jane: (censored) IN THEIR PANTS
Finesse: WETTING THEIR PANTS
Jason: NAPS
La Toya: SLEEPING

SM:

AM: JUNK________
Caroline: FOOD
Joel: YARD
Finesse: MAIL
G: FOOD- $5K ($3K: YARD/$2K: IN THE TRUNK)

HtH: ________ ALERT
Marcus: LIFE
Caroline: RED

“Match Game”- 4TH S.P.

First Panel of S4:
Top: Kenan, Ellie & Tyler Hoechlin
Bottom: Sherri, Horatio & Jillian Bell

G1:
Mohamed Marah (San Jose native who has a Master’s in kinesiology)
Amy Boyer (self-proclaimed bubblegum-blowing champ in Merrick, NY)

R1:
Mohamed (A): BED, BATH & BEYOND is changing its name- to bring in new customers they’re changing the 3rd B to something everybody loves so now it’s BED, BATH & ______________.
G: BOOZE
Kenan: BREAKFAST
Ellie: BUBBLES
Tyler: BABIES
Sherri: BOOBS
Horatio: (censored)
Jillian: BOOZE
Amy: Jimmy Fallon’s so boyish last wk. the dry cleaner found a yo-yo in his coat pocket & a ___________ in his pants.
G: FIDGET SPINNER
Kenan: BALL
Ellie & Sherri: SLINGSHOT
Tyler: WHEENIE WHISTLE
Horatio: JOYSTICK
Jillian: FIDGET SPINNER

R2:
Amy (B): My grandma was a geriatric professional wrestler who went by the name Gram Slam- to finish you in the ring she’d crush your windpipe w/ her ____________.
G: WALKER
Kenan: WALKER
Ellie: CANE
Tyler: WALKING STICK
Sherri: WRINKLED THIGH
Horatio: NASTY KNEE-HI NYLONS
Mohamed: Dumb Dora’s so dumb she wanted to catch a jellyfish so she loaded up her fishing hook w/ _________________.
G: PEANUT BUTTER
Kenan: GLUE
Everybody else: W

SM:

AM: BREAKING _______
Jillian: “BAD”
Sherri: NEWS
Ellie: POINT
G: “BAD”- $5K ($3K: NEWS/$2K: GLASS)

HtH: ____________ PUNCH
Mohamed: FRUIT (A: SUCKER)

G2:
Carolyn “Cal” Doyle (grandma covered in tattoos)
Antonio Lovari (Newark, NJ)

R1:
Cal (B): The other day I picked up a cellphone in the celebrity lost & found. The recent calls were ALL butt-dials so I think the phone had to belong to ___________________.
G: KIM KARDASHIAN
Kenan: J-LO
Ellie: KIM KARDASHIAN WEST
Tyler: AN ASS MAN
Sherri: KIMMIE KARDASHIAN
Horatio: KIM K
Jillian: KIM KARDASHIAN
Antonio: Have you heard about the new sex manual for vegetables? It’s called the “Carrot Sutra” & position #9’s especially naughty. That’s when two carrots bring ______________ into bed.
G: CELERY
Kenan & Ellie: EGGPLANT
Tyler: CUCUMBER
Sherri: STALKS
Horatio: PEAS
Jillian: PESTICIDE

R2:
Cal (A): Did you hear that Miss Piggy started her own cult? It’s pretty kinky- every night she makes her followers strip down & rub themselves all over w/ _____________.
G: KERMIT
Kenan: BACON
Tyler: FROG LEGS
Antonio: It was all for charity but the kissing booth at the Irish festival was a huge flop. For one thing the leprechaun made everyone kiss his ________________.
G: LUCKY CHARMS- TIE GAME (Horatio: SHE-LE-LE)

R3:
Cal (A): Out-of-Touch Orville’s so out of touch he thinks electronic dance music’s when two ___________ do the tango.
G: ELECTRICAL CORDS
Kenan & Tyler: ROBOTS
Ellie: COMPUTERS
Sherri: DRUMS
Horatio: LIGHT BULBS
Jillian: LAMPS
Antonio: If you love the classic sitcom “Bewitched” I’ve got good news- Charles Barkley’s starring in a reboot called “He-Witched”. Instead of twitching his nose to cast a spell he jiggles his ____________.
G: BALLS
Top row & Horatio: BELLY
Sherri: ASS
Jillian: BALLS

SM:

AM: KNOCK_________
Jillian: -KNOCK
Sherri: KNEES
Ellie: OUT
G: -KNOCK- $5K ($3K: OUT/$2K: “…ON WOOD”)

HtH: ______ IN A BOTTLE
Antonio: GENIE- L (A: MESSAGE)

“Match Game”- 3RD S.F.

Here Are The Stars:
Top: A. Corolla, Pam Anderson & M. Duplass
Bottom: A. Wentworth, Sugar Ray Leonard & Tisha

G1: 
Todd Robbins (director of operations at children’s Summer camp in Glen Cove, NY)
Kristian Albright (HS science teacher in Wallington, NJ)

R1:
Todd (B): Sugar Ray Leonard has started counting calories. He’s saying “No  mas” to sugar in his diet & his name so now you can call him ___________ Ray Leonard.
G: SWEET ‘N LOW
Adam: SACARIN
Pam: STEVIA
Mark & Sugar Ray: SWEET & LOW
Ali: SPLENDA
Tisha: GLUTEN-FREE
Kristian: Dumb Derek’s so dumb he thinks “Big Brother” is a game show where contestants give their little brothers a _______________.
G: WEDGIE
Adam, Ali & Tisha: WEDGIE
Pam & Mark: SPANKING
Sugar Ray: HIGH 5

R2:
Kristian (A): There’s a new line of headphones made from marijuana called “Earbuds”. They feature high-fidelity audio but they only play songs by ___________.
G: BOB MARLEY
Pam & Mark: BOB MARLEY
Sugar Ray: SNOOP DOGG
Todd: Susan says her ex-husband reminds her of a hot tub- he’s warm & soothing but she’s pretty sure she’s full of ______________.
G: BUBBLES
Adam: CRAP
Pam & Tisha: BUBBLES
Ali: FARTS

SM:

AM: SMOOTH ____________
Adam: SAILING
Ali: CRIMINAL
Tisha: OPERATOR
G: CRIMINAL- $5K ($3K: OPERATOR/$2K: SAILING)

HtH: SPRING _______
Kristian: BREAK
Tisha: W

G2:
Drea Murray (orig. from Colombia & she got married there)
Brian Roland (BKN man who has a dog)

R1:
Drea (B- 1ST-EVER MONITOR MATCH): Only the elite are chosen to carry out important missions & Karen’s the best of the best (a picture of a cat in space’s shown on that monitor in front of the show’s sign). But to keep this cat-stronaut from getting distracted on the space shuttle they hid ALL of the ______________.
G: CATNIP
Adam, Pam, Mark & Ali: CATNIP
Sugar Ray: KITTY STUFF
Tisha: KITTY LITTER
Brian (ALSO A MONITOR MATCH): Did you know Pam Anderson has a cousin named Dan Anderson? While she starred on the show “BAYWATCH” he was on a show called “_____________WATCH”.
G: GUT
Adam: SUICIDE
Pamela & Tisha: WEIGHT
Mark: STOMACH
Ali: GUT
Sugar Ray: BIG

R2:
Drea (B): Jack said “My grandma is pumped for her annual knitting festival. It’s called Sew-chella. Keeping with the sewing theme Grandma is showing up wearing only a ________________”.
G: CROCHETED BATHING SUIT
Sugar Ray: THIMBLE
Tisha: PATTERN
Brian: Amy said “It’s fun being married to a carnival worker. Last night in bed he tried a move on me called the Corndog. Tonight he promised he’d show me a new position called the ____________________”.
G: FERRIS WHEEL
Adam: BEARDED MAN
Pam: FLYING EAGLE
Sugar Ray: YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
Tisha: CAROUSEL

SM:

AM: HOWARD _________
Adam: STERN
Pam: HUGHES
Mark: JOHNSON
G: STERN- $5K ($3K: HUGHES/$2K: THE DUCK)

HtH: _____________ CHIP
Drea: CHOCOLATE- L (A: POTATO)

“Match Game” 9/6

Panel:
Top: Mario C., Sandra Bernhard & Oliver Hudson
Bottom: Caroline, Adam Rodriguez & Eva Marcille

G1:
Jenn(ifer) Naso (forensic scientist in Larchmont, NY who puts together people’s furniture)
Kevin Arbouet (adrenaline junkie in Oakland Gardens, NY)

R1:
Jenn (A): There’s a new cafe catering to health-conscious zombies. it’s common to hear diners ask “Are these brains ________?”.
G: VEGAN
Mario: GLUTEN-FREE
Sandra: SAUTEED
Oliver: VEGAN
Caroline: FRESH
Adam & Eva: ORGANIC
Kevin: Animal Planet has a new show called “America’s Next Top Mutt”. Trouble starts on the very 1st episode when one sassy pup _______ Tyra Banks.
G: LICKS
Mario: SLAPS
Eva: SHADES
Everybody else: HUMPS

R2:
Jenn (B): Michael said “My 90-year-old grandmother is an airline pilot. All the other pilots complain when she taxis down the runway with a ________________ on”.
G: TURN SIGNAL
Mario: OXYGEN TANK
Sandra: OXYGEN
Caroline: INDICATOR
Adam: SIGNAL LIGHTS
Eva: HIGH BEAMS
Kevin: On first dates George tells ladies “I like untamed natural beauty. That’s why I don’t manscape”. In fact George tells them his nickname is George _____.
G: BUSH

SM:

AM: WHEEL _____________
Mario: HOUSE
Caroline: CHAIR
Oliver: OF FORTUNE
G: CHAIR (wha?)- $2K ($5K: OF FORTUNE/$3K: BARROW)

HtH: FAST ________________________
Kevin: AND FURIOUS (Caroline: TRACK)

G2:
Deborah “Debbie” Smith (corporate flight attendant for priv. jet in Woodland Hills)
Victory Joseph (San Bruno, CA)

R1:
Debbie (B): Adam Rodriguez’s so damn hot you got to have _________________ just to get near him.
G: BALLS
Mario: ALL-ACCESS PASS
Sandra & Eva: SUNBLOCK
Oliver: ALOE VERA
Caroline: HOTEL ROOM READY
Adam: PROTECTION
Victory: Shonda said “I don’t think Kardashian University is a legitimate school. I mean they offer a class called Sex Tape 101 and a degree in ____________ Appreciation”.
G: FAME
Mario: ORAL SEX
Sandra: FILLER
Oliver: VAGINA
Caroline: ASS
Adam: PROSTITUTE
Eva: SEX

R2:
Victory (A): Tony the Tiger’s girlfriend says he’s sweet but their relationship’s gotten a bit stale. Just like his cereal Tony’s too ________ for her.
G: FLAKEY
Mario, Sandra & Caroline: FLAKEY
Oliver: SOGGY
Adam: FROSTY
Eva: CRUNCHY
Debbie: Charlotte can’t wait to compete in her church’s annual Nun Fun Run. Instead of handing out Gatorade halfway through the race the nuns hand out ________________________.
G: WINE
Mario & Eva: HOLY WATER
Sandra: BAD HABITS
Oliver: THE BLOOD OF CHRIST
Caroline: CROSSES
Adam: WINE

SM:

AM: SCARLET ______________
Mario: FEVER
Sandra: O’HARA
Oliver: JOHANSSON
G: JOHANSSON- $3K ($5K: LETTER/$2K: FEVER)

HtH: BANANA ______
Victory: SPLIT
Oliver: W

“Match Game” 8/16

Panel:
Top: Kenan, Debi Mazar & Tom Lennon
Bottom: Sherri, Horatio & Gillian Jacobs

G1:
Dawn Epstein (Cherry Hill, NJ)
JoAnn Klein (Miller Place, NY- needs new couch)

R1:
Dawn (B): Out-of-Touch Olivia’s so out of touch she thinks Cardi B’s the sweater you wear when Cardi A’s too ____________.
G: DIRTY
Kenan & Debi: COLD
Tom, Sherri & Gillian: DIRTY
Horatio: SMALL
JoAnn: Erin said “I feel like I’ve dated the entire NFL. My last boyfriend was a real Patriot & the guy before that was a total Saint. But next time just give me a great big __________”.
G: EAGLE
Kenan & Sherri: GIANT
Debi: BALLER
Tom & Horatio: BEAR
Debi: BUCCANEER

R2:
Dawn (B): You know how some people have a swear jar for whenever they say a bad word? Well America’s about to make a fortune because they just put a jar in Congress for every time the senators _____________________________.
G: HAS AN AFFAIR
Kenan: VOTE
Debi: LIE
Horatio: DON’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT OUR TERRIBLE PRESIDENT
JoAnn: E! has a new show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ Gardener”. Just like the original Kardashian series it’s 60 minutes full of _________.
G: WEEDING
Kenan: BEING CONFUSED
Debi, Tom & Gillian: MANURE
Sherry: BOOTY
Horatio: FERTILIZA

SM:

AM: SPACE __________
Tom: MOUNTAIN
Sherri: CADET
Gillian: SHIP
G: SHIP- $5K ($3K: “JAM”/$2K: CADET)

HtH: WELCOME _____
Dawn: HOME

G2:
Kiana Williams (Charlotte, NC- works graveyard shift for call center & is also a substitute teacher & real estate seller)
David Beach (West Covina- substitute teacher for four decades)

R1:
Kiana (A): Doctors have diagnosed a nasty new rash called fried chickenpox. Not only do the bumps itch like hell they come in BOTH white & dark & they’re surprisingly ________.
G: JUICY
Kenan: JUICY
Debi: CRISPY
Tom: SPICY
Sherri: JUICY & TENDER
Horatio: YUMMY
Gillian: TASTY
David: Fun fact- Rihanna recorded her 1st version of “B*tch Better Have My Money” when she was only two yrs. old. Back then it was called “B*tch Better Have My __________”.
G: BOTTLE
Kenan & Sherri: BINKIE
Debi & Gillian: BOTTLE
Tom: DIAPER!
Horatio: PACIFIER

R2:
David (B): I hear Leonardo DiCaprio’s launching his own line of sleeping bags. You know you’re buying a DiCaprio sleeping bag because it’s filled w/ ________________.
G: MONEY
Kenan: BEARD HAIR
Tom & Horatio: MODELS
Sherri: GORGEOUS WOMEN
Kiana: Dumb Dora’s so dumb she thinks rubbernecking means making out w/ a ______________.
G: CONDOM
Debi: CHICKEN RUBBER
Tom & Horatio: CONDOM
Gillian: RUBBER CHICKEN

SM:

AM: SEVEN ______________
Sherri: DWARVES
Kenan: ELEVEN
Horatio: BRIDES
G: DWARVES- $3K ($5K: ELEVEN/$2K: UP)

HtH: COMMON ____________
Kiana: SENSE
Sherri: W

“Match Game” 8/9

Panelists:
Top: Jason A., Sheryl U. & Gabriel
Bottom: Constance, Bubba Watson & Anjelah Johnson

G1:
Kim Thompson (Panama City, FL- Air Force vet of 7yrs who’s also known for hairstyling)
Timothy McCarthy (overnight 911 operator in Whitman, MA)

R1:
Kim (A): Now that “SESAME STREET” is on HBO it’s way more adult. They just released a new doll that’s even kinkier than Tickle Me Elmo- it’s called __________ Me Elmo.
G: MASSAGE
Jason: BITE
Sheryl: LICK
Gabriel: (CENSORED)
Constance: HAVE SEX WITH
Bubba: SLEEP
Anjelah: POKE
Timothy: The band Van Halen has gotten older & more sensible so now they’re driving a Minivan Halen. And instead of “Runnin’ with the Devil” they’re “Runnin’ with the ____________”.
G: SOCCER MOMS
Jason: AARP
Sheryl: VIAGRA
Gabriel: MEDIC
Constance: GRANDMAS
Bubba: WALKERS
Anjelah: CARPOOL

R2:
Timothy (A): Lazy Larry said “I can’t run a 5K so I signed up for a .5K. I just hope there’s gonna be someplace to stop for a __________ halfway through the race”.
G: NAP- MATCHED EVERYONE EXCEPT GABRIEL (who said BREAK)
Kim: Audience, as you exit through the gift shop tonight, be sure to check out the “MATCH GAME” bargain bin- you’ll find a great selection of gently-used _____________.
G: CONDOMS- ELIM. (Jason & Sheryl wrote CARDS)

SM:

AM: MICHELLE __________
Jason: OBAMA
Constance: PFEIFFER
Bubba: WIE
G: OBAMA- $5K ($3K: PFEIFFER/$2K: WILLIAMS)

HtH: _______ CODE
Timothy: MORSE

G2:
Nick Panza (North Massapequa, NY man who has a massive bobblehead collection)
Roxanne Schisler (Stewartsville, NJ)

R1:
Nick (A): In the forest two oak trees were throwing shade. One tree said “Your roots are showing”. The other tree shot back “Oh, yeah? At least I don’t have ____________ in my trunk”.
G: SAP
Top row & Anjelah: TERMITES
Constance: VINES
Bubba: LITTLE KNOTS
Roxanne: Dumb Derek’s so dumb he thought “The Breakfast Club” was a movie about a golfer who uses a __________ as a 9-iron.
G: SKILLET
Jason: SAUSAGE
Sheryl: PANCAKE FLIPPER
Everybody else: SPATULA

R2:
Roxanne (B): My wife’s got me trying healthy new milks in my morning coffee. Soy milk was OK, oat milk was pretty good but I draw the line at ________ milk.
G: BREAST- MISSED JUST BUBBA (GOAT)
Nick: Vladimir Putin loves to play cowboy. He rides horses shirtless & when he’s making sexy times he likes to wear _______________.
G: A**-LESS CHAPS- TIEBREAKER TIME (Jason: SPURS)

R3:
Nick (A): Sheryl Underwood said “I have to admit the guy’s I’m dating is way too young for me. He just invited me to his __________________”.
G: COMMUNION
Top row & Anjelah: PROM
Constance: BAR MITZVAH
Bubba: HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
Roxanne: Kim & Kanye have a new talk show called “Kimye TV”. The ratings HAVEN’T been great- viewers complain the only thing the hosts ever actually talk about is _____________________.
G: THEMSELVES

SM:

AM: ROUND_____________________
Jason: TABLE
Constance: HOUSE
Anjelah: ONE
G: ONE ($5K: TABLE/$3K: ABOUT/$2K: ROBIN)

HtH: FLEA ________
Roxanne: MARKET
Anjelah: W

“Match Game” 7/26

Stars:
Top: Jack, Christina R. & Ice-T
Bottom: Jane K., Tituss & Nikki G.

G1:
Annemarie Fox (Huntington Beach lady who enjoys playing flag football against men)
Richmond Bean (former Army member of 21yrs in San Antonio- he was a paratrooper stationed at Ft. Bragg)

R1:
Annemarie (A): James Bond just opened a new pet store called P**sy Galore. Shoppers were surprised to find out that ALL the cats were _____________.
G: WOMEN
Jack & Nikki: SHAVED
Christina: ARMED
Ice-T: (CENSORED)
Jane: SHOOTING BLANKS
Tituss: BALD
Richmond: Trashy Tonya’s so trashy when she lost one of her press-on nails she replaced it by gluing a(n) ____________ to her finger.
G: CONDOM
Jack: REAL NAIL
Christina: EASTER EGG SHELL
Ice-T: CHIP
Jane: CHICKLET OR MENTOS
Tituss: TOENAIL
Nikki: POTATO CHIP

R2:
Richmond (A): Tarzan got a new job at an office & coworkers say it’s NOT going well. We don’t mind the loincloth or the monkey, but does he have to keep ______________ in the conference rm.?
G: SWINGING
Jack, Christina & Jane: POOPING
Ice-T: CRAPPING
Tituss: SWINGING
Nikki: DEFECATE
Annemarie: Congress just voted to replace the Electoral College w/ the Pectoral College. The name of the candidate most likely to win is _________________.
G: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Jack: VIN DIESEL
Christina & Jane: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
Ice-T: DICK JOHNSON
Tituss: THE ROCK
Nikki: TRUMP

SM:

AM: VIRGIN ________
Jane: MARY
Christina: ATLANTIC
Jack: PINA COLADA
G: MARY- $5K ($3K: ISLANDS/$2K: AIRLINES)

HtH: SPEED _______
Annemarie: LIMIT- W

G2:
Rita Schineis (BINGO player in East Yaphank, NY)
Ryan Christian (volunteer firefighter in Middletown, DE)

R1:
Rita (B): Flirty Frank’s bartending skills are top-notch. At the local gay bar he always gets huge tips when he rims a guy’s glass w/ ______________.
G: HIS SUGAR STICK
Jack & Ice-T: HIS TONGUE
Christina: SUGAR
Bottom row: WHIPPED CREAM
Ryan: Charlie Brown has joined the hair club for men. The good news is he finally has hair. The bad news is that he’s rockin’ a __________.
G: MAN BUN
Jack: MULLET
Christina & Jane: COMBOVER
Ice-T: AFRO
Tituss: MOHAWK
Nikki: (CENSORED)

R2:
Rita (B): Victoria’s Secret has a new line of Winter underwear called Thong Johns. Don’t worry ladies- your buns might get cold but your __________ will be red hot.
G: VAJAYJAY
Ryan: When Beyoncé looks into her magic mirror she DOESN’T want to know if she’s the fairest. Instead, she asks “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the _____________ of them all?”.
G: RICHEST
Jack & Jane: FIERCEST
Christina & Ice-T: BADDEST
Tituss: RICHEST
Nikki: BOOTY LICIOUSEST

SM:

AM: TOUCH_______
Christina: DOWN
Nikki: SCREEN
Jane: FOOTBALL
G: SCREEN- $3K ($5K: DOWN/$2K: ME)

HtH: POOL ______ 
Rita: TABLE
Christina: PARTY