“Get Ready to Match the Stars”:
Top: Horatio, Niecy & Mario C.
Bottom: Martha Stewart, Lamorne & Casey
Deborah Marsh (HS librarian in Calhoun, LA)
Aminah Imani (who started taking trapeze classes)
Deborah (B): Tired of laying down the law, Supreme Court justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s gonna be laying down some tracks as a gangsta rapper. She’ll be going by the name Lil’ ________.
Niecy: BABY RUTH
Casey: R. BIZZLE G
Aminah: Lonely Lorna was so lonely, she started dating her Roomba. But their relationship fall apart when the Roomba caught Lorna in bed w/ a _________.
Horatio: SHOP VAC
Lamorne: BIG BLACK MIKE DYSON
Aminah (A): Even though they don’t have Instagram yet, trendy Amish kids are all about hashtagging. They walk around saying “Hashtag no __________”.
Horatio, Niecy & Casey: ELECTRICITY
Deborah: Stan said “I think my girlfriend hacked into my ATM account. Now instead of asking for my PIN, it asks for an engagement ring, and when I try to stick my card in its slot, it says ___________”.
G: I DO
Horatio: I HAVE A HEADACHE
Niecy: NO SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE
Mario: PLEASE SWIPE AGAIN
Martha: LIGHT MY FIRE
Lamorne: NAH SON, NOT TODAY
Casey: CLOSED FOR MAINTENANCE
AM: ______ GAMES
G: HUNGER- $5K ($3K: OLYMPIC/$2K: BOARD)
Pete Dente (Linden, NJ firefighter)
Teresa Lo (infomercial shopper in Coffeyville, KS)
Pete (B): Sam said “My wife has beautiful, long red hair. Unfortunately, it’s on her ________.”
Niecy: THE PART DONALD TRUMP WANTS TO GRAB!
Martha: WIG STAND
Lamorne: BOYFRIEND’S COUCH
Teresa: The other “Clue” characters were annoyed that Miss Scarlet wouldn’t shut up about her date w/ Colonel Mustard. Apparently, they did it in the kitchen w/ a ________.
Niecy, Mario & Casey: ROLLING PIN!
Martha: HOT DOG
Lamorne: LONG JAR OF KETCHUP
Teresa (A): There’s a new app that translates my pets’ thoughts to English. My dog said “Daddy, I want to lick you all day”. But my cat said “Human, I want to ______ you while you sleep”.
Niecy & Martha: SCRATCH
Pete: Martha & Snoop Dogg threw a dinner party & it turns out Snoop wasn’t the only one smoking up a storm. Martha was smoking ________.
Niecy & Lamorne: SALMON
Mario: BAKING POWDER
Martha & Casey: TURKEY
AM: CRASH ______
G: COURSE- $5K ($3K: DUMMY/$2K: LANDING)
HtH: ROLLER _____